Monday, 11 October 2010

My Interest

Motorbikes, am I suppose to say 'sorry it seems to be the hardest word?'.  No, because I love motorbikes so much.  Although other people keep saying that a girl, lady or women are not suitable for the bike, for me, it is our own rights.  We deserve to like or unlike something that we honestly have interest on it. 

Sometimes, I always dream on how to ride this big bike.  For now, I am only have a B2 license.  I am wondering, when will I be able to have B full license so that I can ride the big bike too.  This is because, I  felt so jealousy when I saw my beloved father and my eldest brother ride their precious bike anytime and everywhere they go, especially when they go to their workplace, went back to 'kampung' during holiday or when all of our family had vacation.  Feel like I was so desperate and obsess to ride it. 

However, my father had told me that if I be able to graduate and have a good grades, he will give me allowances so that I can take a B full license thus, I can ride the bike legally.  While my eldest brother said that he will give his bike if I have good performs in academic and if I have good financial status in order to take a good care of the motorbike.  This is because, each of the motorbike's tyres can cause a lot money to buy it, so do the other part of it.

Like usual, I need to think deeply whether I should accept my eldest brother suggestions.  For sure, my father's offers towards me, I would not push it aside.  This is because, offer will not come often, right?  Again, I like motorbike so much, although others who don't like motorbikes keep saying that by buying the bike will cost a lot of money, for me, it is alright if we afford to buy it because ones a person like something, they will not think about what others said, unless if we make it hard by borrowing money from others just to buy the bike.  Hope that one day, I will have my own motorbike with the colour and design I like.

Saturday, 9 October 2010

RAYA 2010

Aidilfitri is a religious festival for Muslims. It is a day that has been waiting for each one of muslim’s people in this world after having 30 days fasting in Ramadhan month.  This day is very special for muslims as they can celebrate it happily with their family members after they sacrificed their hunger and thirsty in order to obey command from Allah S.W.T. (the Almighty).  

Every year, I saw veryone were busy preparing their house to look more beautiful, baking some biscuits or cookies, choosing theme colour for their Raya clothes, and much more.  While everyone busy with all of Raya preparations, I was busy packing my stuff to go back home from my campus.

 This year, all of my family celebrate Raya at my grandmother’s house at Kampung Gunong, Bachok, Kelantan Darul Naim.  One day before Raya, my elder brother preparing firewood for my father to cook lemang, my sister and I prepared ‘biskut raya’ while my little brother tidy our grandmother’s house. 

Early in the morning, my mom make some breakfast before all of our family members went to the mosque, to perform pray for the ‘Eid day.

 After went back from the mosque, all of us went to visit our late grandfather’s graveyard.  At there, we alms prayer for my his peaceful. 

Then, we went back to my grandmother’s house to gather together in one place and we had a great time together.  All of my siblings will apologize to our parents and we apologize each other starting from my elder brother until my little sister.  After that, my parents will gave each of us some money as the reward for being able to overcome tiredness during fasting month.

My mom is the best chef on that day.  She cooked a lot of delicious food such as ‘rendang’, ‘ketupat’, and much more.  

After having her delicious food, all of my siblings will snap a picture as our family collection.  Then, our relatives came to the house and enjoy eating the food. All of us were laughing, chatting and having a good time together.  I am so happy when celebrate that day. I am hoping that I can celebrate Raya next year with my family members again.


The most challenge day for students is examination. The examination season during each semester is very stressful for students like me. I have to sacrifice simple pleasures such as sleeping, shopping, listening to music, chatting, and even taking naps when there is no class in order to pass the examinations.

Some of the students succeed, but some may just get by. For example, one of my friend, she keeps saying that she felt does not want to continue further studies and she decided to fill out form to apply work under government. Although she has been going for many interviews, she still not going to give up asking for the job she likes. I was thinking for a while, why is she give up when studying and not give up when applying for the job? The answer she gave is she will only studying for examinations and will not practic the knowledge she gain. Other than that, she afraid of taking an examinations. She hopes by working, she does not have to worry about examinations and grades anymore. Bottom in my heart, I think maybe she needs tips for examination.

I keep wondering whether student like me have some tips to do well in examinations. And I finally know that the thing which is important for every student is consistency. Because of I am not so genius, I need to revise whatever subject that are taught by the lecturer daily. This will help student like me to study better. Consistent studying and revising will prevent a student from missing out important details.

The proper study environment is also important. Peace and quiet environment will enable a student to concentrate better. Besides that, joining a study group can help student maintain a good grades. Lastly, I should avoid having last minute preparations, because it can cause unwanted pressure and stress.

In conclusion, if all students know the right techniques and it will definitely can help students in an examinations.

Friday, 8 October 2010


When I was in first semester, I took OMT100 courses that is Personality Development taught by Miss Siti Farah Suraya. There are a lot of thing I have learn in her class. Starting from self-esteem, how to improve our self confidence and self-evaluation. We also have been taught about manner. She says that table manners are important. If we are not observe table manners, we may offend those we are eating with.

I have been taught some simple rules to remember. Firstly, when there is something on the table which I can’t reach, I should ask for it. I should say, “Could you please pass the sauce?” I was also been taught not to put my hand out in front of someone just to get food or something I want on the table.

Secondly, when eating, I should not point my cutlery at another person. This is because, I might hurt someone if I do so. Thirdly, when food is served, I should not take a lot of it. I should leave some for others. It would be much better if I offer it to my friends by asking “would you like some chicken?”.

Next, I must not to talk to others if my mouth is full of food. People will not find it attractive. Fifthly, I have been taught to discuss only pleasant topics while I was eating. Disgusting topics will make people lose their appetite. Finally, I realize that I must not lift the soup bowl to my lips, I only can drink the soup with a spoon.

Although I found that this table manners is kind of difficult, but it is important because it can help me in future especially when I faced other people from other background or when I need to meet them to have business. Who knows? I am hoping that I can practic what I have learned from her for my own benefit.

Tuesday, 5 October 2010


The flower petals are opening up,each one more than the other,
The flower will once again blossom in full glory.
Knowing yesterday what will happen to them today made happy.

What am I living for?
Everyone’s crying expressions have become blurry because of the tears.
I definitely will die because of such a small thing,right?

Animals and plants,already know their own life spam when they were born.
Only human are greedy and want to prolong their lives.
Is it okay to be selfish? As I place my hand to my chest,
I can feel my heart beat,I’m so happy that I’m still living.

I had thought if I died that it would be great,I have the same problem as you.
I cried non-stop. At school,I kept on being stared at.
Why did I have to face this?
When I read the article,I know that I’m not the only one who is in pain.
I realised that since I got it,I have always been looking down at the ground.
I want to become strong like others.

From now,even if I’m in pain and cry,
I want to use that kind of feeling to be able to move forwards.
I feel like this because of you.
You said you want to help others right?
When I first met you,I thought if human live or die,it doesn’t matter.
If it’s greed or force,you want me to live on.
Therefore,I want to be alive..

Morning Light

In front of the school gate,there is a wall.
The morning light dawns upon the wall.
One day,when I look up,the wall will quietly sigh.
This wall represents my disability.
Even if I scream aloud,or cry out,it won’t disappear.

But,at the moment that the sun is shining,
Doesn’t it also shine on this wall?
So,even if it’s me...
It seems like I’ll be able to find it,I’ll go and find it!

To stop my pace and live in the present..
Eventhough there will be a day,that I will lose it,
Isn’t it great that I could pass on a dream that I had to give up?
People shouldn’t dwell on the past,
It’s enough to try your best in all that you’re doing now.
The sounds have become hard to pronounce,
I can only breathe out air instead of saying it.
So,I can’t communicate with others..
Recently,I have been talking to myself a lot.
I didn’t like it before,but to practice pronounce it,I have to do it.
I will not give up on speaking..


Finally,the time to graduate come.
The graduation ceremony is different from what I imagined before.
No matter how little the matter is,I want to become a useful person to others.

19 years-old..
People either go to school or get a job,or maybe married..
Everyone is heading towards their own career paths.
But I,was waiting?
I wonder if I have no place to go to..

The feelings of everyone stay deep within my heart
But,I don’t want a place where I feel uncomfortable in it.
From now on,I am thinking about how am I going to continue living.
I can’t even stand properly..
Nevertheless,this is my body,so I can’t give up.

19 years-old..
Even for me,I expect there’s a future for me too.
Reality is too cruel,too brutal.
I don’t even have the right to dream.
As I think about the past,the tears will come out.

Where should I head towards?
Even if there isn’t an answer,I’ll feel better by writing it down
I’ve looked for a pair of helping hands,
But I couldn’t feel them,couldn’t see them,
I only see towards the darkness and hear the sounds of my hopeless screams.

My feeling..

The weather has slowly become cooler,
I want to run around too,and warm up my body.
But,it’s getting harder to,even walk...

Eventhough I have been hurt before by those heartless glances,
This also helped me to understand that..around me,
There still exists some gentle glances.
Therefore,I definitely won’t run away.
That’s what I will do.


A new year has arrived.
At the same time,I’ve become more dependent upon others for help.
I like the sound of the ball,echoring in the gym,
The quite classroom after class,the view outside the window,
The wooden floor of the corridor,talking in homeroom,
I like all of these.

I’m likely to only cause trouble for people
And it might not really do make me any good to stay here
Even if it’s like that,I still want to stay here,
Because this is the place where I am.

To be able to be seen as an equal by my friends,
I’m really thankful.
I didn’t just only make trouble for them,
Thinking like this,I’ve started not mind it that much.

The other side of suffering..

Everyone feels pain..
But surely after suffering,satisfaction will arise.
Even with sports,studying or other ordeals,
With life,it’s like that for everyone.

I’m not the only one in pain.
Not having other people understand,
Not understanding other,both of those are awful..

Whenever I think about the future,tears would be coming down,
My life is like a blossoming flower that hasn’t bloomed yet.
From the start of my youth,I want to have no regret and treasure it.

In my heart,there always exists someone that believes in me
I want to accept myself right now
I trying hard to live on,live on forever.

If we can beat the pain,on the other side,
A rainbow of happiness awaits us.
That will definitely become a treasure,
Let us believe in that...

Step by Step

When my existence seems to disappear,
I will look for the place where I can do the best I can.
From now on,I’ll delibrate slowly.
I won’t be greedy.
I won’t be impatient.
I won’t give up.
Because everyone takes thing step by step.

In my heart,I know I can always trust you.
From this point forward,I leave it to you.
I’m sorry for always making you worry.

Fate...It can’t be put into words.
I want to build a time machine and revisit the past.
I am also want to cling someone arm’s so badly..

It has ended..
Only the holiday in my life,seems to have ended.
In the blue sky,the white clouds float around.
And it’s really pretty to look at..
I really don’t want to say things such as “I want to go back to have things were before.”


What’s wrong with falling down?
You can always stand up again.
If you look up at the sky after falling down,
The blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smile at me,
I’m alive..

There are still many days until school ends,
Seems like that because of me,everyone is folding a thousand paper cranes.
The looks they had when they were folding so diligently,
I’m going to keep them deep in my memory.
Even when we’ve been separated,I will never forget them.
But,I’d rather hear them say “Don’t go..”

No other

There’s no one like you, even if I look around its just like that, where else to look for?
A good person like you with a good heart like you, a gift as great as you
How lucky that I’m the person who will try this hard to protect you, where else to look for?
A happy person like you, I’m the one with the happiest smile just like you

Your two warm hands gets cold when I’m cold
Your heart that used to be strong becomes sensitive when I’m hurt
Take my hand silently, hold me silently, I’m only wishing for such little comforts

You don’t know my heart that wanted to be only and just for you
Call out my heart, free my soul
It always felt like the first time, these remaining days are more than the time that I meet you

When my geedy heart gradually search to other directions
When my mind can’t handle whenever my greed grow even more
I know all those reasons that clearly says that you’re here, the only one

I’m always thankful
I could do better as you do
You know, I’m a little bit shy sometimes
You don’t know but you’re burning like the sun, please understand my feelings

Even those guys that appears in TV shows are sparkling,
You’re always be the one in my eyes
Hearing you tell me that you like me
I’m everything in this world

Please know it, to me there’s only you that I dumbly see you as my everything
We arrived on the same road, we’re just the same
How surprising, how grateful am I
There’s no one like you..

Monday, 4 October 2010

The most extreme days.. T_T

Couldn't expect that this week I will be very busy person and thus, couldn't spend my time to have fun like can it be?? o_0

Sometimes, I kept thinking about something that makes my mind miserable..
However, I realize that I'm not the only one who face this "popular" problems..
Hope that I will be more mature on arranging my life schedule.. ^_^